I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
My vagina is officially offended.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
