ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
