How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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