remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize