Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
