this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
