Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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