I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
what is it with giant penises always finding me
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
