okay pat passed out under dana's car
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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