I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Randomize
