Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
