i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
as a side note pls kill me
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
