he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
