Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
