The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
