Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
It's never too late to be topless.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
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