Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
