I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
