so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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