I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
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