i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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