shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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