Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
