Me. At least after what I've been through.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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