Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
