Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
