woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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