your thong is hanging out like whoa
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
