but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
