we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
