she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
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