I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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