I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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