Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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