TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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