What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
