At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
