I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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