I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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