ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
