Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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