I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
