I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
