i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
