did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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