you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
