We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
