We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Randomize
