I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
