Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
