I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize