there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize