No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize