grandma shit on top of the toilet
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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