ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
