how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
