wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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