TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
this boner is exhausting
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
