my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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